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Sesame Street News Flash
The Sesame Street News Flash was a segment that featured Kermit the Frog reporting for Sesame Street News. Very often Kermit was seen interviewing characters from various fairy tales and nursery rhymes as well as other popular stories, even appearing at key moments in history. In these cases, the stories being parodied most often did not always go according to tradition. Each report began with Kermit speaking to someone, sometimes off-camera, until a crew member alerted him to the fact that he was "on." Several sketches were included in their entirety on the video Big Bird's Story Time. Individual segments *'Cow Jumps Over the Moon' : In a take on the "Hey Diddle Diddle" nursery rhyme, Kermit interviews Natalie the cow and her cat manager as she prepares to jump over the moon. After the cat plays a fanfare on his fiddle, she makes the jump and crash lands back to Earth. *'Aladdin's Lamp' :Aladdin is distressed that his lamp won't work until Kermit informs hims that he needs to add a lightbulb, plug in the cord and turn the switch. All the while, the genie wisecracks about his job and trying to get some sleep inside a lamp. *'The Invisible Man' : Kermit interviews the invisible man, who tap dances for him and later introduces his family which crowds Kermit. * Jack Be Nimble : Jack can't figure out how to jump 'over' the candle stick. * Mirror Mirror :The Wicked Witch from the Snow White story plans to fool the mirror into saying that she is the fairest. But she hasn't counted on Kermit hiding behind a curtain. Features Jerry Nelson as the mirror. * Holiday Mix-Up (YouTube) :Kermit interviews Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a witch -- they are all confused about who they are and what holidays they belong in. * Rapunzel :Rapunzel has been locked in a tower by the wicked witch. Prince Charming comes to rescue her...until her hair falls off her head. * Sleeping Beauty :The prince kisses Sleeping Beauty, but turns her into a frog. * Sleeping Beauty (2) :The prince kisses Sleeping Beauty, but the prince falls asleep. * Christopher Columbus :Kermit interviews Christopher Columbus before he goes to discover that the world is round. Kermit tries to tell him that the third ship is tied to the dock, but it's too late -- the dock breaks free and takes Kermit in tow with the ship. * Waiting in Line :Kermit talks to people waiting in line for a football game. *'The Pied Piper' :The Pied Piper has trouble luring mice with his music -- but Kermit doesn't! *'Jack and Jill' :Jack needs someone to go up the hill with him. First he chooses Mervin, then Francine and Gladys the Cow. Finally Jill, who doesn't want to go up the hill with him, so he chooses Kermit to take her place. *'Hickory Dickory Dock' :Kermit the Frog is standing by a clock that a mouse is to run up, but various other animals keep showing up instead. Finally, a horse comes in and explains that the mouse can't make it, so the horse runs through the clock. *'Peter Piper's Family' :Kermit goes to Peter Piper's Pickled Peppers Patch to interview Peter Piper, but he only gets to meet other members of his family. *'George Washington's Father's Cherry Tree' (YouTube) :Kermit interviews the father of George Washington, who is annoyed that George keeps chopping down his cherry trees and then telling the truth about it. *'Alice in Wonderland' :Kermit interviews Alice, who goes on all sorts of crazy adventures. For this adventure, she eats something that makes her grow. *'Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves' :Kermit interviews Ali Baba, who can't seem to figure out the magic word starting with the letter S to open the door to the cave. When Kermit says goodbye to the viewers, he accidentally blurs out "open Sesame (Street News)", to which the rock opens and forty thieves come out, stealing Kermit's watch and all his clothes. *'Pinocchio' :Kermit interviews Pinocchio, who makes his nose grow by lying. He won't stop lying, and his nose gets caught in Kermit's trench coat, pushing him through a wall. *'Princess Chooses a Prince' :A princess claims that she will kiss anyone who has small ears and a funny voice, is green all over, and wears a trench-coat. Kermit is the only one who fits that description, so she kisses him and, in a puff of smoke, she turns into a frog. Kermit invites her to "the hop" and she accepts. *'What Makes People Angry?' :Kermit tries to find out what makes people angry, but everyone he encounters is too busy to speak to him, which ultimately causes him to lose his temper and yell at the camera. *'Man in Snowstorm' :Part 1: Kermit has gotten a phone call about there being a man who is standing out in a terrible snow storm, and Kermit wants to find that man and interview him. :Part 2: Kermit is still looking for the man. :Part 3: Harvey Kneeslapper informs Kermit that he is the one who made the call, which was a prank call. As it turns out, Kermit was the man standing out in the storm. *'Humpty Dumpty' :Humpty Dumpty has fallen off a wall, and Kermit interviews one of the king's horses. Humpty does get put together again, but then Kermit gives him a congratulatory pat on the back, and he falls off the wall again. *'The Elves and the Shoemaker' :Kermit interviews the elves, who give the shoemaker various gifts that are not shoes, but rather things that rhyme with "shoe." *'Rumpelstiltskin' :The miller's daughter is in danger of losing her baby if she cannot guess the first name of Rumpelstiltskin. Kermit puts up a hotline, Sesame-Street-555, for people to call in and help her. The name ends up being Bruce Rumpelstiltskin, but unfortunately for Kermit, he picked the wrong place to hide: the baby's carriage! *'The First Day of School in History' :Kermit goes back in time to witness the very first day of school, taught by a caveman teacher with caveman students. *'Mary and Her Little lamb' :After an interview with Mary, her lamb follows Kermit the Frog. *'Little Miss Muffet' :Kermit meets Little Miss Muffet, who sits on her water bed, eats crunchy granola, and is not afraid of the spider. The spider ends up chasing Kermit away. *'Kindergarten Class' :Kermit reassures kindergarten student Cookie Monster that there's no need to be afraid on the first day of school. As he's about to leave, the teacher mistakes him for a student and tells him to sit down. *'The Six Dollar Man' :Kermit explores the lab of Professor Nucleus Von Fission, who has just built a robot called the Six Dollar Man, out of parts which cost him six dollars total. The robot destroys the lab, while Von Fission laughs hysterically. *'Jack and the Beanstalk' :Kermit climbs the famous beanstalk and passes Jack on the way who warns him not to go up. He breaches the clouds and meets a giant who is played by Jerry Nelson making a cameo. *'Weather Report' :Simon Soundman does a weather report using sounds for different kinds of weather. News anchorman Kermit fires him and calls for another weatherman, who has a more 'visual' approach to reporting the weather. *'J Mine' :Kermit interviews the miners who work in a J mine. *'Mumford's Big and Small Trick' :The Amazing Mumford has a new trick, where he will make Thumbelina big and The Big Bad Wolf small. He makes Thumbelina big, but doesn't make the wolf smaller. The trick, however, works on Kermit. *'Suzanne Farrell' :Kermit witnesses different parts of ballet dancer Suzanne Farrell's body, and watches her drink a glass of milk. *'Suzanne Farrell #2' :Kermit and Grover watch Suzanne do twenty grand battements. *'London Fog' :In London, Kermit tries to talk about the London Fog, but is interrupted by the London Frog, a guard carrying "The Famous London Log" and a London Hog. By the time he's ready to talk, the Fog is gone, and the others gather around to dance the London Clog. *'Rainy Day' :Kermit asks Telly and Mona how they spend a rainy day. Telly enjoys practicing his bassoon, while Juliet loves to play pretend. Against his will, Kermit gets to play the part of the White Rabbit. *'Seven Emotional Dwarves' (YouTube) :Kermit meets the Seven Dwarves, each named after (and representing) an emotion. (Kermit ad-lib: "Hey Dulcy, we got the wrong dwarves again!") *'Ideas for Games' :Kermit interviews people who have invented their own games. Elmo plays 'the reporter game', where he pretends to be a news reporter, and then fights with Kermit over his microphone. *'They Live in Different Places, But They Both Love Me' :Kermit interviews a bird who sings about how her parents still love her even though they don't live together anymore (though it is not directly stated whether her parents are divorced, seperated, or whatever the reason for them not living together is). *'Co-operation' :Kermit is sent to the park for a report on co-operation, except that there's nobody around to interview. At that moment, monster reporter Telly turns out to be sent to the same park for the same interview. They end up cooperating by interviewing each other. *'What Monsters Want to Be When They Grow Up' :Kermit asks monsters at a daycare what they want to be when they grow up. Cookie wants to be an orthodontist. *'That is How We Look' :Kermit is at the first day of school for monsters, where the monster teacher and his monster students sing a song about how different they look. *'Santa Claus' :Kermit witnesses how Santa Claus comes down the chimney, but not before a chimney sweep enters the chimney first. Recurring themes Three Pigs, Big Bad Wolf *'The New Story of ‘The Three Little Pigs’' :The Big Bad Wolf plays a game of "Three of These Things" with Kermit and the pigs. Since Kermit doesn't belong with the pigs, the wolf blows him out of the picture. *'After the Wolf Blew the Pigs' Houses Down' :The Big Bad Wolf has blown down the houses of the Three Little Pigs, so Kermit interviews them to know how they feel. The pig who made his house out of straw is angry, the pig who made a stick house is sad, but the one who made his house out of bricks is proud, because his house is still standing. *'The Count Counts the Three Little Pigs' :Kermit's interview with the Three Little Pigs is interrupted by The Count, who wants to count them. When the Count's counting puts an end to the interview, Kermit goes to interview the residents of the next house... the Seven Dwarfs. *'Pig's Straw House' :Kermit interviews one of the Three Little Pigs, the one who built a straw house. The Big Bad Wolf comes to blow it down, but the house is actually strong. *'The Big Bad Wolf's School for Huffing and Puffing' :The wolf teaches Kermit how to huff and puff, and Kermit ends up blowing a monster couple's house down. Cinderella *'In Search of Cinderella' :Kermit interviews Prince Charming, who is looking for Cinderella. *'Cinderella prepares for the Ball' (YouTube) :Cinderella's fairy god mother (Camille Bonora) tries to make a good ball dress appear on Cinderella (Pam Arciero) without any luck: the gown ends up on Kermit instead! *'Cinderella at the Ball' :Kermit is interviewing Cinderella and Prince Charming, who are dancing at the ball. After Cinderella leaves, she leaves one glass slipper behind. The prince wants to find Cinderella.... so he can have the other glass slipper. Tortoise and Hare *'The Tortoise and The Hare' :Kermit reports for Sesame Street Sports (and wears a snazzy sports jacket) when he covers the race between the tortoise and the hare. When the race starts, the hare stays in his spot, since the tortoise is so slow he'll have time to win. Kermit goes to the finish line so that he can see who wins... and he's crowned the winner. *'The Tortoise and The Hare Rematch' :The hare challenges The Tortoise to a rematch: this time, the Tortoise comes equipped with a jet-pack! Don Music *'Whistle, Whistle, Little Bird' :Don Music tries to rewrite "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". He succeeds and is joined by a ZZ Top-like band. *'Mary Had a Bicycle' :Kermit helps Don Music write a remake of "Mary's Lamb", with some back-up vocals from the Monotones. *'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' : "Life is just a... just a..." With Kermit's help, Don manages to rewrite the tune to "Drive, drive, drive your car". *'The Alphabet Song' :Don Music successfully "writes" the Alphabet Song, with help from accidental surroundings. Dr. Nobel Price *'The Piano' :Dr. Nobel Price wants to show off his latest invention, a piano, but it's already been invented. Kermit even knows how to play it! *'The Great Poonga-Poonga' :Dr. Nobel Price reveals his latest captured creature, which turns out to be a (live) rabbit. *'Foot Snuggies' :You guessed it -- socks. *'Herman the Hoppity-Hop' :It's green, wears a trenchcoat, does news reports... and it even talks. Nobel Price "invented" an exact mechanic replica of Kermit! *'Speaking Stick' :Warren Wolf is the first newsperson to witness Nobel Price's latest invention, a stick that makes your voice sound louder. It bears a striking resemblance to Warren's microphone... Little Red Riding Hood *'Little Red Riding Hood: The Woodsman' :Kermit witnesses how the mailman, the salesman and the woodsman knock at the door while the Wolf chases Red Riding Hood around the bed. *'Directions for Little Red Riding Hood' :Kermit tries to give Little Red Riding Hood directions to her grandmothers house. *'Little Red Cookie Hood' :Cookie Monster portrays Little Red Riding Hood. He brings cookies for his sick grandmother, but Kermit tells him that sick people should have healthy foods. Old McDonald *'Spaceship on Old McDonald's Farm' :Old McDonald thinks a spaceship will land on his farm. A dog emerges with a frisbee in its mouth, and McDonald mistakes it for a spaceship. But before long, a real spaceship lands on the farm, and out of it come the Yip Yip Martians! The scene ends in chaos. *'Old McDonald had a health Farm' :Old McDonald opens a health resort for his animals. The Princess and the Pea *'The Princess and the ‘C’' :Instead of a pea, this princess sleeps on things beginning with C. *'The Princess and the Cookie' : Kermit interviews a servant who tells him that the queen wants to test the maiden by placing a cookie under the mattresses to see if she can feel it. The "princess" (Cookie Monster) not only feels it, but also eats the cookie and the mattresses above it. External links * Tough Pigs Anthology -- Sesame Street News Flash transcripts News Flash